When I was a teen, I had a summer job at a laboratory. They had a BLAZING FAST T-1 connection. This was a big deal, that’s what hackers in movies dreamed about having access to.

So I took my gaming rig to workto play counterstrike one day. (it was always mostly deserted, and no one cared what the lab monkey did before noon when they all eventually showed up)

The latency was non existent. I felt like a god. I was banned from several servers that day becythey thought I was botting due to having an order of magnitude better ping than anyone I was playing against. I got paranoid and never took my machine to work again, but it was a fun day.

currently working on getting banned on the rest of the reddit subs i frequen(ted).
Does that count?

This reminds me of an old cartoon; Old guy getting banned from the cemetary and rejoicing his new found imortality. Thought that was funny.

nice try, officer

Kicked out of Canada when I was in my early twenties.

Picture it. 1998. Niagara Falls (the Canadian side). I was visiting western New York with my gf at the time. She was driving and we had three of her friends in the car with us.

She was speeding so a local cop flashed his lights and pulled us over. He made her step out of the car. Then he came over, stuck his head through the driver’s side window and chastised us all:

“You know how fast she was goin’? One of you needs to be the designated smart guy and tell her to slow down.”

Then his eyes focused on me in the backseat.

Cop: “Where are you from?”

Me: “Georgia.”

Cop: “Yeah well you just need to get back to the border and get outta here. We don’t need your kind here.”

Some bar in Amsterdam. We were there for a Bachelor’s party/trip, it wasn’t even that late at night but two guys in our group were already drunk to the point of half falling asleep and kept dropping their drinks on the floor. The waitress warned us the second time and kicked us all out the third or fourth time it happened. When we all got outside, one of the two jerks had the nerve to ask “What happened? Did we just get kicked out? Why? Couldn’t they have at least warned us first?”

I’ve been banned off of Line for the crime of doing literally nothing. I created an account before a trip to Japan so I could add Japanese people I already knew or might meet while there.

I made the account without any significant issues, got the QR code to add a friend then got an unspecified error any time I tried to add them. I tried adding an official account with the same error. I looked it up and saw some suggestions about waiting a few days to try again so I did just that with the same results for any official account or my friends account. My brother made an account and tried to add our friend with the same results, then found that when using my QR code it said the account didn’t exist.

After digging more into it and trying to figure out what was up with Line’s support directly all I could find was an FAQ that said if you got an unspecified error when adding someone then it means your account violated Terms of Service for sending illegal messages, harassing people, etc that type of stuff. Still have yet to figure out how exactly either of us did any of those things before we could send a single message, but I’m sure it’s a very good and logical reason which would surely also explain why Line doesn’t answer my tickets or emails. Surely.

So Six Flags is apparently pretty ban happy. I’m not welcome in Magic Mountain anymore.

In my early twenties circa 2004 we borrowed my mom’s mini van, loaded up 8 of us and drove over night to get to Magic Mountain as they were opening. So it starts with the fact that before we started running around, I’d already been awake for 24 hours.

For whatever reason that day there was a large group that just kept cutting lines. “Excuse me, I’m trying to get up there to get my cousin off the ride.” But then they would group up and stay in line.

So big guy in front of me has some kids with him. My girlfriend and I had split away from our main group. Medium dude with wife and 2 kids behind me all loudly complaining to each other about it, I finally had enough and figured I’d have back up, so I grip the hand rail on each side and will not let go when the next few try to pull it again.

Cutter comes up with his wife or girlfriend and asks the same excuse, I refuse, he makes threats, anyone I thought was going to back me up suddenly examining their shoes. Dude swings at me and I easily duck it, but had to let go and he goes running ahead. My perceived back up offer excuses about not starting shit with their kids there, now with kids of my own I understand but back then I was really let down.

We get to where there’s finally a ride operator, the guy that threw at me is getting on the coaster, I point him out for cutting and swinging. Eventually I get on the coaster and as it’s going up I see him getting escorted away by security. When the ride ends security is waiting for me too.

“You’re out of here”

“Why, all I did was attempt to block a cutter?”

“He says you threw the first punch”

“Check the cameras“

“Doesn’t matter, policy says you’re both out and can’t come back”

So I get a tour behind the scenes to the parking lot. Girlfriend has to use the chicken exit to collect the group since this is prior to the time when everyone has a phone in their pocket. I get told they’ll let me wait in the car for my group but after that, don’t come back.

So yeah, I can’t go to Magic mountain anymore because cutters are also liars.

Don’t know if I was ever banned but I was definitely asked to leave a go kart track when I was about 10 or 11. It was a kids track with only a few karts to choose from but they weren’t even as far as performance went. I had picked one that turned out to be slower than one another boy chose, so he kept lapping me as we were driving around. I’ve always been very competitive so I was just getting madder and madder as this smug little shit kept passing me even though I was pedal to the metal, so I made a decision. One lap as he was just about to pass me I wrenched my steering wheel to the side and ran him off the track. I was, of course, spotted by an attendant who stopped me and brought me over to my very embarrassed parents then asked us all to leave. I don’t think the other kid was hurt, but I didn’t care enough at the time to check so he might have been.

Got banned from Reddit for criticizing the current White House administration.

I was banned from an arcade because I had discovered that if you placed a strong enough magnet near the coin door of most of the cabinets you could pull together the leafs of the service switch and just get free games. Was a wee kid so they just never allowed me to enter again. But boy wasn’t that the start of a hobby. Now i Reverse engineer things for fun.

I am banned from an hospital and a country.

No, I was not an unruly patient,but instead called out their bullshit as a healthcare provider working with them. And reported them. Which lead to them banning me. Which funny enough is illegal here as well.

And I am banned from entering Turkey. Turkish airlines nearly killed me during a flight by having some sharp pieces in my food. Had a gastric bleed from it,including a hospital stay in a foreign country. Well. My travel insurance sued them and thinks got ugly. In parallel the political party I then was a somewhat active member of back then (as in “running for state parliament”-levels) was getting in arguments with Erdogan. So one day I received a letter by my foreign department that I specifically should not enter Turkey or I might see a Turkish prison from the inside.

I was banned from an amusement park because, many years ago. They sold drinks, in cups, that were shaped like bongs. My friend and I were sitting in a small pavilion area, that was in a rather remote corner of the park. We were smoking cigarettes, which was fine where we were, and my friend and I were talking about turning the cup into a bong. At one point he stuck his face on the opening like you would a bong. Some people, in the next pavilion over, were staring at us, then left. We were punk kids, like the music, so we were kinda used to random people staring at us, and we thought nothing of it.

About 20 minutes pass and a cop walks up to us. He asks us to turn over our paraphernalia, and leave the park, and he wont arrest us. We give him a WTF look, and say what paraphernalia? He says people reported seeing us smoking from a large, purple, water pipe. Friend says “you mean like this?” and holds up the cup. He looks at it for a good 10 seconds, and then says yeah that looks like a bong, I can see why they may have thought that. He then told us about how he was a punk, pulled up his sleeves to reveal GBH, and Casualties, tattoos. We commented on how he isn’t a punk, now that he is a cop, those things are mutually exclusive. Short conversation on punk ethics ensues. He then says sorry for bothering us, and walks away. About 10 minutes later we are walking back into the main area of the park when we see punk cop walking with a man and starts flagging us down. The man is the park manager, and even though the cop straight up said it was a cup THEY SOLD, he wanted us kicked out, and trespassed. Cop asked us if we were going to leave now that we are asked, and we said yes, and left. However he stopped us at the gate demanding the cop get our IDs to put on file, cop tells him we left when asked, he can’t actually write us up as a trespass if we leave upon request, unless we come back. So we started walking back to our car, and as we are getting up to it, the manager runs, literally runs, up to us and takes pictures of us, and our car.

Thing is, our friend circle included the daughter of the owner of the park. So we called her and told her what happened. Ban pulled, though that same manager was still there the next time we went, so he wasn’t fired. We also refer to that guy as punk cop to this day.

I work near a casino. I told my colleagues I’m banned for counting cards, so I don’t have to go with them and I have an easy and bulletproof excuse to not go.

Reddit.

I got banned from hinge/tinder for the crime of… being trans.

turns out if enough terfs report your profile as “misrepresenting your identity” you’ll just get banned, no questions asked.