I remembered a worse time (than being the one who kills access):

One of my vendors had won the contract that my company currently held with an automaker. It was told to me in confidence, as they thought it was going to be announced later that month. I was also told because they were looking to hire me to keep all the day-to-day knowledge.

It was finally announced… EIGHT. MONTHS. LATER.

While I never said anything (it could have tucked a major deal and got myself and a few others in legal hot water), I was always quick to counsel my underlings to move to other positions or get jobs somewhere else.

I still run a fantasy football league from my first corporate job back in the 90s. None of us are at the company anymore.

With my access in my last job, I could have crippled the company with 5 minutes notice.

It’s horribly passive-aggressive, but it is safest for the company.

My brother was on the list of names once.

I was not allowed to tell him, but HR let me take off that day and had someone else do it.

I remember being the server guy who had to stay late on Fridays and remove access at 6pm.

I got a panicked call from someone who couldn’t save the file he was working on. It was for a project set to go live on Tuesday.

I had to break it to him that he was just let go.

I remember when he played it as an out-take on an NPR gameshow.

He warned them that it had “a swear word.”

Horta. Didn’t it have magma inside it?

He also had a drawer labeled “Plastic Shark” that contained one of my old toy sharks.

My father had a workbench drawer marked “Pieces of Wire Too Short to Use.”

Mind you, he was an electrician.

I’m still hoping for combo planets.

Or just not tell us and surprise us in the middle of a MO.

I don’t know about crashing, but Grindr has always seen spikes at RNC and CPAC events. This gets brought up every time there’s an event.

It’s like the whole “Pentagon Pizza Meter” thing.

Anyone they swap in will also be “mildly concerned with but still selling arms to and defending Israel,” as this is what the backers want (or are too afraid to back away from).

Cashiers fought for WFH?

If you’re talking about other sectors, it’s been done before (off-shoring in the 2000s).

Coworker of mine was handling hardware returns for our main data center. There were two issues with this: It wasn’t his job and he never told anyone about it. Work fired him during his vacation because they saw he wasn’t completing his assignments, but never asked him for reasons.

Six months later, the company got hit with over 200k in service plan renewals for hardware we no longer used.

So I did the tuxedo thing when I left a job. Security wanted photos.

I told security that there are only two ways to leave if you know it’s going to be your last day: Head held high and dressed to the nines, or carried out by as many security guards as possible.

They thanked me for choosing the former.

For Super-Earth!

Congratulations on your promotion!

Oh, I thought you got promoted to my command chain.

This new version of them was not someone I could hate.

We were completely new people, so it felt like the “us” from before were gone. There was no need to hold onto any of the hate.

I met one during college. We were both very different people by then and went out for lunch.

While there were no apologies (there were lines crossed by both of us), there was closure.